I'm not sure where I read it last (perhaps in Alexander the Great) but I read somewhere that people that achieve greatness do so by rejecting the commonplace, the routine, the norm. In the same way a truly great scientist dares to believe, any person who achieves greatness has to break free from normal constraints and imagine something, well, greater.
For all I know I am completely romanticizing myself to give reason to past actions, but I feel like there have been several moments, situations and/or opportunities to take the easy/normal route in my life, that I have reacted to with unease and hesitance---maybe even disdain. More often than not I have given in to 'base' desires and taken the easy route but I am thinking that maybe I should not. I have met with many challenges in the past 8 or so years of my life (and by no means do I feel these challenges have been earth-shattering or on a scale remotely close to that which so very many are forced to face daily) and I do not think I am truly happy with how I have handled them. I think I may want to be great. There is a part of me that wonders if I should shake off a lot of the 'nice' things in life and focus on what drives me and moves me, what I have felt I am 'meant' to do---which I know believe is really my feeling I am mean to achieve greatness.
Over the past three years I have wrestled with these thoughts of how to best utilize my time as I am often frustrated with myself for the choices that I make. Whenever I have had a good conversation with someone on this topic the conclusion is agreed on that time is not wasted when it is spent on yourself, that you need 'you time'. Two thoughts come to mind now:
1) maybe a great person does not need 'you time'
2) maybe 'you time' needs a stricter definition
In this moment before I head to bed, I am truly contemplating taking the first thought and putting it to action. There have always been excuses in my past. Maybe I should quit cold-turkey and just make myself accountable until I find out I should adjust and take well-defined 'me time'. Because I am worried if I start with well-defined 'me time' I will end up back with excuses again.
Then again, I could just be completely romanticizing this all and I could be perfectly content with my path if I just accepted it as is. Or, I may forget this all come morning...
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Agents
A Different Spin's agent (for colleges, military and cruise ships) has been extremely disappointing up until this point in time. Many times we have discussed the possibility of actually be relieved if our contract with him expires come the end of March (the only way it does NOT expire is if he secures us a showcase for NACA before the end of March or we out of a fit of temporary insanity ask him to renew the contract).
I spoke with the contact for the New Mexico State Fair yesterday and she was extremely impressed with our website (yep, Tim is awesome) and the way we presented ourselves via phone and the interwebs. A startling issue is that we may not be *big enough for a venue* as she wanted us to increase our playing space of 20' x 20' to reach a larger audience. Having new performers in the 'A Different Spin Performer Stable' (ADSPS...yeah, I doubt the phrase or acronym will live long) makes that actually possible so who knows, it could be grand! But I digress...the relevant piece of information she had for this particular issue I am grumbling about---namely having an agent---was that in her long experience it was best to stay independent as long as possible. Though she had some anecdotes of times it was nice to make a phone call to an agent to tell them to convey to their artist that they were behaving like total asshats, she agreed with me that the *product* you create as an independent artist is by and large a much better one. From personal experience I definitely believe this as I feel we are:
1) better salesmen for the product because we KNOW it inside and out and can paint a pretty picture. We also are therefore much better at 'up-selling' as when you are involved in the booking process you get a sense of the event and/or organizer to find additional ways you can be paid for being awesome
2) more invested in the success of the group as (for some of us) it is our sole source of income
3) able to handle questions of 'can you do this?' because, well, we usually know right away if we can or not
It also gives the organizer a feeling that they are really involved in bringing in our group, which DOES have its downsides (that can never truly be predicated) in that some people prefer to talk to straight-numbers/organization people. But I feel these instances are few and far between and can often be charmed out of issue.
So you got all of that? Cuz here I go turning it on its head. What I just today experienced was the reason that having an agent is actually a good thing: freedom to create. I honestly have had an absolutely AMAZING time running A Different Spin as a business and I look forward to continuing to learn on the job. Hell, it is going to serve me well as I help promote The Boston Circus Guild and embark on some wonderful circus/spinning arts commune endeavors in the future and I can also contribute to the community by offering to teach a class in Spring '10 at WildFire on the process...but it takes so much time to do all of this work. With Jeremy stepping out back in September and knowing Tim will come January I realize that the task is insanely time consuming. Ricky and I maybe overwhelmed and I honestly worry how that will affect the success of A Different Spin. So what happened today? Well, I saw some videos of other performers (more than just the fire-acro for Dream State Circus and promo and an act from The Flash)that reminded me we not only don't have a truly polished show, but we don't have a circus show that is going to be very adaptable to new performers. I am very worried that Joanna and Roger being involved in any combination of a four-person circus performance is going to be a VERY different show. Thinking positively, it could turn out to be a totally rockin show...but it will take a lot of creative time to make it so and past experience has shown that the 'everyone go sit in their respective corners and come back with solo acts to smash together' approach makes for a subpar show. So what an agent *ideally* does is make it so that the performers can focus on polishing great foundational shows and work on making great new ones. I think A Different Spin has a great foundational circus arts show that will only ever be performed if the original four 'east coast boys' perform and will only ever get to be a great show if we all work on it...which we won't because Ricky and I will be overwhelmed with business stuff, Jeremy will be pursuing grad school and independent circus workshops/performances and Tim will eventually be busy working/researching tech theater jobs. Frustrating. And a good agent could make this so much easier by freeing up time. It would be far from ideal (as my experience thus far has shown) to rehearse and create new material piece-meal and with many different combinations of performers, but it would be better.
Realistically, A Different Spin can still succeed even without an agent or with a bad one, it will just take longer to achieve success. Sometimes I'm scared of how much longer.
EDIT: Having slept on it and continued to muse a bit, I wanted to add for the record that I believe the original 'ideal plan' for A Different Spin could still work---pushing really hard for several months with four people doing the 'agent' work to establish the contacts and learn so so much, then having there be a rotating schedule of 'office work' where each member does a limited amount per week to keep the machine running. Not that this is all that positive now that I think about it as I won't ever really know. Bah. But perhaps it will inspire someone else to try it even without our having tried it first.
I spoke with the contact for the New Mexico State Fair yesterday and she was extremely impressed with our website (yep, Tim is awesome) and the way we presented ourselves via phone and the interwebs. A startling issue is that we may not be *big enough for a venue* as she wanted us to increase our playing space of 20' x 20' to reach a larger audience. Having new performers in the 'A Different Spin Performer Stable' (ADSPS...yeah, I doubt the phrase or acronym will live long) makes that actually possible so who knows, it could be grand! But I digress...the relevant piece of information she had for this particular issue I am grumbling about---namely having an agent---was that in her long experience it was best to stay independent as long as possible. Though she had some anecdotes of times it was nice to make a phone call to an agent to tell them to convey to their artist that they were behaving like total asshats, she agreed with me that the *product* you create as an independent artist is by and large a much better one. From personal experience I definitely believe this as I feel we are:
1) better salesmen for the product because we KNOW it inside and out and can paint a pretty picture. We also are therefore much better at 'up-selling' as when you are involved in the booking process you get a sense of the event and/or organizer to find additional ways you can be paid for being awesome
2) more invested in the success of the group as (for some of us) it is our sole source of income
3) able to handle questions of 'can you do this?' because, well, we usually know right away if we can or not
It also gives the organizer a feeling that they are really involved in bringing in our group, which DOES have its downsides (that can never truly be predicated) in that some people prefer to talk to straight-numbers/organization people. But I feel these instances are few and far between and can often be charmed out of issue.
So you got all of that? Cuz here I go turning it on its head. What I just today experienced was the reason that having an agent is actually a good thing: freedom to create. I honestly have had an absolutely AMAZING time running A Different Spin as a business and I look forward to continuing to learn on the job. Hell, it is going to serve me well as I help promote The Boston Circus Guild and embark on some wonderful circus/spinning arts commune endeavors in the future and I can also contribute to the community by offering to teach a class in Spring '10 at WildFire on the process...but it takes so much time to do all of this work. With Jeremy stepping out back in September and knowing Tim will come January I realize that the task is insanely time consuming. Ricky and I maybe overwhelmed and I honestly worry how that will affect the success of A Different Spin. So what happened today? Well, I saw some videos of other performers (more than just the fire-acro for Dream State Circus and promo and an act from The Flash)that reminded me we not only don't have a truly polished show, but we don't have a circus show that is going to be very adaptable to new performers. I am very worried that Joanna and Roger being involved in any combination of a four-person circus performance is going to be a VERY different show. Thinking positively, it could turn out to be a totally rockin show...but it will take a lot of creative time to make it so and past experience has shown that the 'everyone go sit in their respective corners and come back with solo acts to smash together' approach makes for a subpar show. So what an agent *ideally* does is make it so that the performers can focus on polishing great foundational shows and work on making great new ones. I think A Different Spin has a great foundational circus arts show that will only ever be performed if the original four 'east coast boys' perform and will only ever get to be a great show if we all work on it...which we won't because Ricky and I will be overwhelmed with business stuff, Jeremy will be pursuing grad school and independent circus workshops/performances and Tim will eventually be busy working/researching tech theater jobs. Frustrating. And a good agent could make this so much easier by freeing up time. It would be far from ideal (as my experience thus far has shown) to rehearse and create new material piece-meal and with many different combinations of performers, but it would be better.
Realistically, A Different Spin can still succeed even without an agent or with a bad one, it will just take longer to achieve success. Sometimes I'm scared of how much longer.
EDIT: Having slept on it and continued to muse a bit, I wanted to add for the record that I believe the original 'ideal plan' for A Different Spin could still work---pushing really hard for several months with four people doing the 'agent' work to establish the contacts and learn so so much, then having there be a rotating schedule of 'office work' where each member does a limited amount per week to keep the machine running. Not that this is all that positive now that I think about it as I won't ever really know. Bah. But perhaps it will inspire someone else to try it even without our having tried it first.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Time to get moving
My mom's sister finally lost her husband this week. He was a brilliant, talented man who was hit hard by Parkinson's and has been declining for years. I don't know half as much as I should about what he struggled with and am sure that comes from my pattern of wanting to deny the hardships in life. My aunt is one of the sweetest women I've had the pleasure to meet and I am so very glad I can call her family. She suffered greatly when she lost my mom but has the same enviable strength my mom did and she made herself available to my brother and I to fill the void left behind. The same strength has shown over the past year while I've visited with her (she lives just 25 or so minutes away from me) and she has relayed her experience watching the man she loves die for quite a long time. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult that must be but she managed to handle it so well.
I don't really know my dad and I don't really know my brother, but I can say with complete confidence that my extended family is unparalleled in their talent, kindness, perseverance and resilience. I hope I can make them think the same of me. I want to be accountable and I want to be great. To get there I will need to focus and be harder on myself and be accountable to ME first. One of the most truly amazing individuals I have ever met has tried to have me harness the power of positive thinking and I WILL do my best to do so moving forward. Good friends and good family await me this weekend. That seems a good place to start.
I don't really know my dad and I don't really know my brother, but I can say with complete confidence that my extended family is unparalleled in their talent, kindness, perseverance and resilience. I hope I can make them think the same of me. I want to be accountable and I want to be great. To get there I will need to focus and be harder on myself and be accountable to ME first. One of the most truly amazing individuals I have ever met has tried to have me harness the power of positive thinking and I WILL do my best to do so moving forward. Good friends and good family await me this weekend. That seems a good place to start.
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