Greatness

I'm not sure where I read it last (perhaps in Alexander the Great) but I read somewhere that people that achieve greatness do so by rejecting the commonplace, the routine, the norm. In the same way a truly great scientist dares to believe, any person who achieves greatness has to break free from normal constraints and imagine something, well, greater.

For all I know I am completely romanticizing myself to give reason to past actions, but I feel like there have been several moments, situations and/or opportunities to take the easy/normal route in my life, that I have reacted to with unease and hesitance---maybe even disdain. More often than not I have given in to 'base' desires and taken the easy route but I am thinking that maybe I should not. I have met with many challenges in the past 8 or so years of my life (and by no means do I feel these challenges have been earth-shattering or on a scale remotely close to that which so very many are forced to face daily) and I do not think I am truly happy with how I have handled them. I think I may want to be great. There is a part of me that wonders if I should shake off a lot of the 'nice' things in life and focus on what drives me and moves me, what I have felt I am 'meant' to do---which I know believe is really my feeling I am mean to achieve greatness.

Over the past three years I have wrestled with these thoughts of how to best utilize my time as I am often frustrated with myself for the choices that I make. Whenever I have had a good conversation with someone on this topic the conclusion is agreed on that time is not wasted when it is spent on yourself, that you need 'you time'. Two thoughts come to mind now:

1) maybe a great person does not need 'you time'
2) maybe 'you time' needs a stricter definition

In this moment before I head to bed, I am truly contemplating taking the first thought and putting it to action. There have always been excuses in my past. Maybe I should quit cold-turkey and just make myself accountable until I find out I should adjust and take well-defined 'me time'. Because I am worried if I start with well-defined 'me time' I will end up back with excuses again.

Then again, I could just be completely romanticizing this all and I could be perfectly content with my path if I just accepted it as is. Or, I may forget this all come morning...